A Message From America (Fictional Philadelphia Al Qaeda Jihadi Reports to Osama Bin Laden)
A snippet:

Memo

Date: 9/11/06

To: OBL

From: Philadelphia Cell

Allah Akbar, God is Great!

Greetings from the City of Brotherly Love, honorable Sheik, on the fifth anniversary of our great success against the Infidels. Your words are again proving to be correct. The enemy is not worthy. They really are the Google-glorifying, Blackberry-addicted, lap-dance loving, Starbucks-sucking, Gap-obsessed sectarians you believe them to be.

They have the attention span of young goats and lack any resolve to fight you on your terms.

Praise be to God, on Sunday night, no less than the so-called American Broadcasting Co. televised something called a "docudrama" about our success. Your embarrassment of the elected officials in two administrations caused great controversy. Despite the attention, only 13 million Americans watched, while 20 million tuned in to a football game.

Ouch.