I don't necessarily agree with this column, but it's amusing.
Howie Carr:
I have just come down with a dread disease, one that I once believed struck only moonbats.
Bush Derangement Syndrome - BDS.
I am so far out of the BDS demo - I don’t have a trust fund, a ponytail or hot flashes. I have two jobs. I laugh at Deval Patrick and carbon credits. I do not go to movies made by Michael Moore or Al Gore. I have no bumper stickers saying either Kerry-Edwards or 1-20-09.
But BDS can sneak up on you faster than a resolution banning trans-fat in SUVs at Brookline Town Meeting. Like so many other Americans, I first tested positive for BDS on May 18. That was the day George Bush and Ted Kennedy announced their amnesty bill for 12 - or is it 20? . . . or 30? - million illegal aliens.
Perhaps you’re familiar with the early symptoms of BDS - as soon as you see George Bush on TV you reach for the remote control, because if you don’t, you know you’ll start yelling at the TV set, scaring the children yet again.
Is BDS fatal? Not usually, but it may soon claim its first victim: the presidential campaign of John McCain. He’s sinking like a stone in the polls and I suspect full-blown BDS. It wasn’t supporting George Bush’s war that doomed McCain, it was supporting his amnesty bill.
The BDS epidemic has swept what were once called the “red states” in record time. Do you realize that 61 million people voted for George Bush in 2004 and at last count only 53 will still admit to it? Er, the count just went down to 52, now that Lou from Waltham has just faxed in:
“Not only can I not stand Bush, I can’t take that puppet of his, Tony Snow.”
Here’s a joke from a BDS quarantine ward:
Q. How many Bush supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Both of them.
I’m not the first person to admit contracting this debilitating illness. Former Bush supporters are coming out, you might say, all over the Internet. If you’re wondering whether you, too, are at risk for contracting BDS, ask yourself the following questions:
Have you recently screamed at an RNC telephone fund-raiser - all of whom were just fired because everyone in the Republican base has stopped giving money since “shamnesty”?
Do you find yourself calling the president “Jorge”?
Have you dreamed of the day Jeb Bush runs for president, so you can vote against him?
Have you asked yourself, “Where can I get me one of those Z-visas so I don’t have to pay back taxes?”
If you answered “yes” to more than one of the above questions, consult your physician immediately. Before you can say, “Mission accomplished!” you may find yourself repeating Ronald Reagan’s great line about the Democratic Party: “I didn’t leave the party, the party left me.”
The right-wing Web sites have become self-help meetings, where the fallen-away wonder whatever possessed them to vote, twice, for a guy who has thrown in with Ted Kennedy, La Raza and Vicente Fox.
As Carbonado put it on Free Republic: “How bad was the other choice that an inept, tongue-tied goober like Dubya looked like the better choice?”
Inept tongue-tied goober - that passes for high praise these days for Bush 43.
OK, we got two good Supreme Court appointments, but one of them was over the objections of the inept, tongue-tied goober. The tax cuts worked, but they’re sunsetted. And the war on terror - how many more times can anyone afflicted with BDS listen to him talk about the terrible threat posed to Western Civilization by terrorists in Iraq, who kill an average of three Americans a day, after which he lauds those wonderful illegal aliens who, according to Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), are killing an average of 25 Americans a day?
The FBI describes stopping the illegal gangbangers of MS-13 as the top priority. Jorge wants to give them amnesty if they sign a “renunciation of gang affiliation.”
Border security 5,000 miles away in Iraq: Job One for the U.S. military. Border security along the Rio Grande: Yawn.
Every time Bush goes out to the Rose Garden and calls his own voters “vigilantes,” BDS spreads. More people see Dick Cheney and immediately think “Neo-con chicken hawk.” They see Michael Chertoff and think “bearded little weasel.” They see Ken Mehlman and Lindsay Graham and they think - well, let’s not go there.
Millions of people feel bushwhacked. They’re bushed.
Bush Derangement Syndrome. It’s not just for moonbats anymore.
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