Saturday, April 26, 2008

Onion, Take The Day Off: Paintball Border Security (YCMTSU)

Frankly, I'm still hoping this one is satire...

Border agents to use paintball guns to fend off attackers

TUCSON - Some surprising news came from the United States Border Patrol.

The Patrol has purchased 1,000 guns that fire non-lethal paintball or pepper pellets. The goal of a target practice session was to hit the white rag at the end of a hall with paintballs. Border Patrol agents may soon use paintballs to defend themselves against smugglers along the border due to an increase in violence.


Hmmm... let's see here... the border is getting more violent, therefore Border Patrol should start defending it with toys.


Surveillance video from an incident last year in El Paso shows a Border Patrol agent retreating after people pelt him with rocks. Some could argue the same about being hit by a paintball without protective gear, where a projectile from a paintball gun leaves a small welt on the flesh.


Oh, no... not a welt!


Small welt or not, human rights activists say it is a bad idea, even for a line of defense.


Lord, have mercy on my everlovin' soul.

Can somebody smack a little sense into these people? Or how about put them on the border with children's playthings.

(Oh, and pass the crazy pills, please.)

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