U.S. gator aid is urged
There are so many riduclous statements in this one, one knows not where to start. Of course I'll try...

How about with the first line:

As alligator habitats shrink and human population grows, it's inevitable that they'll clash more often.

Of course! It's all our fault!

Alligators have killed three people in Florida in recent weeks, and now the federal government may be getting involved.

U.S. Rep. Adam H. Putnam, a Republican from Bartow, is working with colleagues to come up with solutions, including money to hire more alligator trappers.

While that would speed response time when a gator gets too close for comfort, it's not the whole answer to their happy coexistence with humans.

Frank Mazzotti, a wildlife scientist from the University of Florida at the Fort Lauderdale Education and Research Center, said combating the current public fear requires an education campaign, in addition to dispatching more trappers.

''Most people who come to the state are new and they don't understand what their relationship is with the environment,'' Mazzotti said.

No comment needed.

The article goes on to list some savage slayings, including this dumb-ass comment:

In Pinellas County, Judy W. Cooper's right arm and hand were recovered from an alligator Monday. Although a medical examiner's report isn't finished, authorities have said the alligator played a role in the Dunedin resident's death.

Really? Ya think?!

Then this:

But Broward County trapper Kevin Garvey isn't convinced that more trappers are the answer, and said it might be hard to find qualified candidates.

The work is dangerous, and it doesn't pay well. Garvey gets $30 per alligator from the state, with an annual cap of roughly $2,500. He supplements that amount by selling the captured gators to a processor whose cost is based on the size of the animal. In addition to having the technical know-how to snag a frightened reptile, good trappers should be calm, patient, diplomatic, level-headed and responsible. Toss in some public relations skills, too.

Garvey has waited five hours for an alligator to come to the surface and chased one particular alligator for two years.

The toughest part of the job isn't trapping the alligator, Garvey said.

''The hardest part of the job is dealing with the public because they are so demanding,'' Garvey said.

When someone calls about an alligator in their yard, they want it removed as soon as possible, not in a day or two, he said.

Gee, Kev, I wonder why that is? Why not have 'em wait a week before they can venture out of their homes.

The public needs to stop panicking and learn more about alligators, Garvey said. ``This is just something you have to learn to live with."

Like poor Judy Cooper, et al.?

When people encounter alligators, they either fear them or try to befriend them, he said.

''There is no happy medium,'' Mazzotti said. ``It is exactly the happy medium that is desired.''

This Mazzotti guy is what passes for a scientist these days. Gee, I'd hate to hear what an uneducated moron might have to say.