Missed ABC's Obamercial? ::: Instapunk's Hilarious Synopsis

REMEMBER... Charlie Gibson looks so proud to be there. In the White House. As does everyone else in this utterly spontaneous town hall setting. In the White House.

Right out of the box, first question, the One is going after the rationing argument. His grandmother needed a hip replacement shortly before she died. He doesn't tell us if she got it or if she should have. But he says there's a limit to what we should do. Bye bye, grandma.

Moving smoothly into facts and figures and logical Spock mode. He's so plausible. Especially in this setting. When he talks about the government, people see the Oval Office, not the DMV, the Post Office, and every needlessly expensive government office staffed by the shiftless, uncaring clockpunchers we meet when we try to get a building permit. And Diane and Charlie are acting like emcees at a high-toned parlor game. I hope Mom and Pop America are impressed. I'm already nauseous.

Now we're sorry for all the doctors who owe money for their education. Wow. There's one in the audience. She owes $200,000. How will she ever pay that back? Oh. Obama wants to help her too.

Diane Sawyer is apparently walking point on the rationing argument. Too many tests, she says, too many unnecessary procedures. I'm sure she's opposed to unnecessary procedures. Like her last five facelifts. She's how old now? 35 going on 65? How about letting Obama lift her breasts and tell us if she's qualified for yet another $5,000 boob hike? No? Okay.

Commercial break. LensCrafters. Mr. President, are we still going to be able to get prescription eyeglasses, or do we have to get our specs at Walmart while we wait three years to see an ophthalmologist? Rude? Sorry.

Now we're talking about stakeholders -- doctors, nurses, patients, etc. Like it's all a big happy company. Here it comes. The public option. We can absolutely keep our current healthcare insurance. But it will be like a big marketplace. If we need to, we can go to the government for insurance. It's just competition. Like the way baseball would be if the Commissioner were a multibillionaire and had his own baseball team. He could rewrite all the rules of the game, game by game, and declare any player ineligible if, say, they were about to play his team. You know, competition. In a marketplace.

[snip]
Instapun***K.com Archives: